Rules to adhere so that Friends with Benefit doesn’t become emotional torture.

In 28 years of my life, i have had a couple of fuck buddies. And watched my friends around being in or living this lifestyle. And in 86% of the cases, I saw that one person or other will eventually get emotional even though at the beginning the rules were laid down in black and white. & in my recent venture, the same thing happened.

So I dug deep for the root cause of it and how it can be avoided. But first, the rules people usually set out (at least in my case she did)

  1. Do not get emotionally attached (Duh).
    • When I read this I laughed and told her it’s like telling the cool kids to be cool! Oh.. who is the fool now? (me).
  2. Not go public with it.
    • But okay to attend parties and other even as +1. (Foreshadowing it and say NO to this)
  3. Cannot sleep with other people.

Now all these are fine on paper. What I felt we should have added:

  1. No post sex talking.
  2. Not plan anything that is 3 months far in the future.
  3. Do not do anything other than sexting.
  4. Do not talk about your day and other boring stuff.
  5. No dates.
  6. No simple gesture of kindness.
  7. No sharing of simple things in life.

Because if neither wants to get emotional then you shouldn’t be doing stuff people who get emotionally involved do. Like going out for a meal or as +1.

Basically, you just gotta use each other for your body and that is it. It is hard, but to actually survive or even prevent the emotional trauma and scars, it is best to adhere to those rules. Only then can both parties have a proper chance at just enjoying the purest form of pleasure in life without any complications.

In my case what happened was that I kept thinking she is amazing which she is. Both on and off the bed.  And she kept telling me things like “it would be nice to spend some time off the bed.” But see those stuff when you tell a person will lead them to think you want to be more than just fuck buddies. And that is when the whole things get super muddy.

If anyone else has anything more to offer please do let drop the sage advice here.

 

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